Relationships may end for all kinds of reasons. You can love another with your entire being, your entire soul, and somehow, it still may not be enough. Many will argue that love conquers all, that it can take a broken relationship and save it from the depths of the darkness it stumbled upon.
However, I have been in a relationship where love was not enough. Love was able to carry us through most dark times, but it certainly didn’t have the power to rise us above it. We had so much love at times that it was almost painful. It was real, intense, and overshadowed everything wrong with our relationship. But what we had was quite broken, and became unhealthy. And in the end, our love couldn’t save us. No matter how much we wanted it to.
1. You will grieve
Losing somehow you love can feel a lot like handling a death. This person, who meant everything to you, is suddenly gone from your life. You cannot (or at least should not) see them nor speak to them, no matter how much you want to. All you have left are memories, and you need to let yourself grieve over the loss. It’s painful, especially when you know the love was there, but it just wasn't enough to save things. So let yourself be angry and sad, and all of those emotions that will hit you hard - but remember, don’t let it take over. Life will go on, and you will eventually pick up the pieces. You can only become stronger from here.
2. You will rethink how things went down
Could we have tried harder? Could we have found a way to make it work? What if we held on a little longer?
You will overwork your brain with questions like these that have absolutely no answer. You will replay all of the moments leading up to the end. You will feel guilty, you will feel lonely, you will feel a million different ways at once. You will stress over how things could’ve maybe gone differently. But you have to learn to accept and to let go. Don't forget - everything happens for a reason.
3. You learn about yourself
Through this entire thing, you will learn a hell of a lot about yourself. You will learn how to cope, how to start over, how to do what's best for you. You will have time for a lot of self-reflection, exploring your strengths and weaknesses. All of this will greatly help you to grow as a person, and will make your next serious relationship a stronger and healthier one.
4. It will take a while to start over with someone new
I cannot stress this enough: be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to heal. You may lose a part of yourself when this relationship ends, and it'll take a while to feel like your old self again, but that is completely okay. In time, you will move on to someone new. Eventually, you will find someone who makes that hole in your heart feel smaller, someone who will reignite the flame in your heart. So in the mean time - keep moving forward, keep putting yourself out there, and keep living life for YOU. The rest will all fall into place.
5. A part of you will always miss that person
After all is said and done, regardless of how badly things might have ended, a part of you will always miss that person. It would almost be weird if you didn’t. There will always be a million memories and reminders of the life you once had with that person. Just know, it is okay for a part of you to miss them, but life is a long and winding road - don't spend it living in the past. Take that energy and use it as a lesson, a learning experience, and keep moving forward.
6. You will learn to love from afar
My best friend once told me, you can always love from afar. I never truly understood what that meant until I lived it. When love isn’t enough to save a relationship, you learn to love that person from a distance - you carry them with you in your heart, but you learn to move on. You cherish the memories, but now, you understand why it didn't work out, and you embrace the new path you have started on. You may carry a part of them with you, but you are now focusing on building a happy, healthy life for yourself.
Published on PuckerMob here.